See Me Shattered
by HideYourFeathers
Summary: I wanted her to be happy. Needed it. That was all that mattered. So I would do it. Even if it killed me in the end. “Of course I will, Nam. Promise.” one-shot for idiotique.


Disclaimer: Pretty self-explanatory, considering this is a FAN FICTION site and all.

This was just something off the top of my head. Not sure why.

This one goes out to **idiotique**!

* * *

When I was a little kid—about 5 years old—I remember going to a distant cousin's wedding. I remember sitting there, tugging uncomfortably at my little tie. I remember poking my mom before the ceremony started and asking for the upteenth time, a little too loudly, "Momma, why do we gotta be here? What's so great about weddings?"

I remember my mom shushing me and whispering back patiently, "Weddings are very happy days, Roxy. Where two people who love each other very much say that they'll stay with each other no matter what. It's a big deal, honey!"

I remember sitting there thinking that if it really was such a happy day, then everyone would be laughing and playing instead of sitting and whispering in pews.

* * *

"_Weddings are very happy days, Roxy."_

The words flash across my mind.

Now, nearly 20 years later, I'm in a church yet again, tugging on my tie yet again. Only this time, instead of sitting in the pews, I'm at the front of the church.

Next to the other bridesmaids.

Yes, bridesmaids.

I'm causing quite a stir among some of the guests, apparently. There's a lot of whispering going on.

Of course, there are a few who aren't the least bit surprised by my being up here. They know how close I am to the bride. They know that Namine and I have been best friends since we were 5.

_Namine._

My stomach does an unpleasant flip. My jaw clenches. And it's taking all the will power I can muster to stop myself from running. Running far away from the alter, far away from the church, as far as I can run, until I sink to the ground and cry, yell, scream.

But no. I can't. I have to be here for her.

_I promised her._

* * *

I remember that night perfectly. It was 10:30 at night, and I was in my apartment, watching the movie _Miracle_. There was a knock at the door. I got up and went to the door, and there she was. Dressed in her favorite white knee lengh dress, her blonde hair flipped off to one side, almost exactly the way she wore it as a little girl. Her gorgeous blue eyes sparkling.

She was too beautiful.

As soon as she saw me, she squealed and threw her arms around me. I chuckled, automatically wrapping my arms around her, wondering what could be making her so happy at that moment.

That's when she pulled back and held up her finger.

Her ring finger.

Which now held…

"Roxas, he proposed!" she has shouted excitedly, tears of joy springing to her eyes. "Riku finally proposed!"

I felt as though my whole world was shattering. Shattering into a thousand pieces, clawing at my insides. Everything seemed to fuzz around the edges.

It took all of my strength to keep the smile plastered to my face.

"That's great!" I had said back, wondering if she knew, if she had had any idea, that she had just destroyed me.

She laughed, nodding and beaming wildly, squeezing me with another hug. Then she looked up at me and said gleefully, "And I want you to be my best man! Or my maid of honor. Whichever title you prefer!"

I froze.

I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to tell her. I had to tell her how I _really _felt.

That I couldn't let her marry him. Not when I felt something so strong, so powerful, that it scared me to no end.

Not when I was so completely in love with her.

But…I couldn't say no. Not when she was this happy. I couldn't take this away from her.

I wanted her to be happy. _Needed _it. That was all that mattered.

So I would do it. Even if it killed me in the end.

"Of course I will, Nam. Promise."

* * *

The organ music makes me snap myself back into attention.

The organ music.

I suck in my breath. Here we go.

The beginning of the end of me.

And there she is.

_God_, she's so beautiful.

Even though I've already seen her dressed this way. I was there when she was getting ready, after all. It was my job to make she that the whole wedding was perfect, that _she _looked perfect.

Of course, I didn't have to do anything at all for the second part. She's always been that way. _Perfect_.

But now, seeing her enter the church, walking down the isle…

As beautiful as she is right now, all I can do is shout at her from my mind.

_**You're walking down the isle to the wrong guy! **_

_**You've got the wrong guy!**_

_**You can't marry him! **_

_**You just can't, damn it!**_

_**I'm in love with you…**_

She's up at the alter now.

Oh, God. She's really going to do it.

I don't think I can take this.

_No! You promised you'd make the wedding perfect for her! _

_You have to make her happy. You need her to be happy. _

_Even if it means letting her marry…_

Riku—the guy with the silver hair, the WRONG GUY—is lifting her veil.

My eyes shoot straight to hers, fearful now. I'm panicking.

And she's looking right back at me.

I feel my face fall. The happy mask that I've been wearing for the past few months is finally gone.

I can't keep up this charade anymore.

Again, I'm screaming in my mind:

_**I'm in love you, Nam. I'm in love with you.**_

_**You can't marry him. You can't.**_

_**I'm begging you. Please, Namine…**_

I'm staring into her eyes, and she's staring right back.

She's still staring, even though the priest is now talking.

The joyful smile she had been wearing for the past few months is no longer there.

A single tear makes its way down her cheek.

And in one, heart-wrenching second, I can see _exactly_ what she is thinking:

_**I love you.**_

_**~*~**_

_**

* * *

**_

_And I'm leaving the rest up to your imagination!_

Heh heh. Don't kill me...

So, what do you think?


End file.
